Had To Put My Big-Girl's On Tonight!

It's true, I had to put my big-girls on tonight.  It was about 6:00 and I had just sat down to a long-overdue manicure after my shop/wrap/clean/decorate/party/send cards/and shop-some-more-A-Thon over the past couple of weeks.  I was spent and I was sooo looking forward to just sitting there (in a trance-like-state) and having my pitiful nails done.

Well, sure enough, I'd no longer sat down and refused a glass of wine (not sure why), than my phone rings and it's Nolan.....at Denver International Airport....in a practical blizzard....BUMPED off his flight home because it was....you guessed it....OVERSOLD!!!!!!!!!  (He'd been snow-boarding with KIVU friends out there for a few days.)  Well, I asked him what they were gonna do about it, and he said there were no more flights out to Nashville and that they would have to put him on the same flight tomorrow night....DECEMBER 24th, putting him in the skies along side Santa!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Well that was entirely unacceptable, and somebody was gonna have some 'xplainin' to do, so I told him to put the gate-agent on the phone, and the following is how my conversation with the smart-aleck went:

Agent:  "Hellooooo??"  (In a very sarcastic, out-done, ready-for-a-fight tone of voice)

Me:  "Hi, I'm Nolan's mother (in my best Steel-Magnolia tone of voice) and I understand that you've bumped him off his flight that we paid full-fare for, and he showed up 2 hours early for.  Care to tell me why?"

Agent:  "The flight was oversold."  (In a condescending tone)

Me:  "Well, that's always nice.  I love it when this happens.  Especially to my kids.  On Christmas Eve Eve!  During a blizzard!"

Agent:  "I'm sorry Ms."  (Yes, the battle-axe called me 'Ms'!)

Me:  "Oh, I'm sorry too.  The fact that you oversold this flight is YOUR problem, not ours'."

Agent:  "Well, it's oversold and there's nothing I can do about it."

Me:  "Excuse me?!  So we pay full-fare for this ticket, my son shows up 2 hours early, and your greedy airline bumps him off his flight, while you usher all these ADULTS onto the plane, and expect me to accept that you can do nothing about it?  This is the worst business practice!  Overselling flights is greed-driven and  NOT RIGHT!  This is the worst way to treat your customers..."

Agent:  (Interrupting me in a very monotone, snide, hateful, seething voice) "Ms., statistically speaking, we have no-shows so-in-so percent of the time, and statistically speaking, yada yada yada, and statistically speaking, some other ridiculous bull-crap....")

Me:  (Interrupting the statistician) "Well, I know a thing or two about statistics myself, MS!  So just let me give you a couple that might interest you:

#1--Statistically speaking, 100% of people who mess with my kids find themselves seriously regretful after they do.

#2--Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and Christmas Eve breakfast is going to be served at Nannie's house at 10 o'clock, sharp.  I expect 100%, statistically speaking, of my offspring to be buttering their biscuits as soon as grace is said at 10:01, and that would include that good-looking 16-year-old standin' there in front of you!!

#3--I need to get back to this manicure, so I suggest you pick up that speaker and start offering up some pretty sweet deals to those ADULTS you chose to put on that plane in the middle of this blizzard, or there's about a ZERO PROBABILITY, statistically speaking, that you'll be experiencing any 'peace on earth' this Christmas!"

Well, a few hours later, our Nolan is at home, and we're all enjoying his stories of snow-boarding and the agent at the counter after she hung up from "Mama!"  ;)

Nolan is 2nd from right 

Here's hoping you and yours' have a very blessed Christmas!  Make it a "10," statistically speaking.